Golgotha was the great disappointment for Jesus' disciples. All her dreams had burst like a bubble. Her only purpose in life - Jesus - was gone. They had given up everything else more than three years earlier. They were discredited in Israel because of Jesus: Aren't you one of them too? (Matthew 26,73:XNUMX) Even their own plans – who is the greatest? – had been exposed as unfit at the Last Supper. The disciples stood in front of a heap of broken pieces and anxiously barricaded themselves in the upper room.
The last straw
Only the women from the circle of disciples clung to a straw of hope. Now that everything was in pieces, they wanted to do Jesus at least one last service. So they set out for the tomb very early on Sunday morning. They wanted to anoint his body.
A small, tiny service. At least something constructive; something that expressed her love, her goodwill. Brave to go alone without a male escort! Well, Mary Magdalene was the only one who understood beforehand that Jesus was really going to die. She was first at the tomb (John 20,1:4). And only later did John and Peter come running (verse 2). They all believed that the body had been stolen (verses 9 and XNUMX). After the big disappointment now this too!
Isn't there anything I'm good for? Am I not even allowed to give a proper burial to my failed dream, my failed mission? Am I not even allowed to know where my everything is buried?
disappointments in your life?
Maybe someone wants to save many souls for God. But then his missionary work collapses. So at least he holds on to leading one man to Christ. But now this mission fails too.
Another would like to work together with many mission organizations for the LORD. But his plan fails. In the end, he only puts his hopes in one missionary work, the only one he now believes to be trustworthy. But then he realizes that there is a lot of people there too.
Other scenarios could be invented and I think everyone can tailor that to their life and the worst case scenario they're going through or might be going through. Do we see the principle? First the big disappointment. My purpose in life breaks. Then the noble straw. The last act to stand up to myself, to save face, not to suffer a complete loss of identity. But suddenly even that hope melts away.
And then the turning point
But the good news is: "Don't be alarmed! Ye seek Jesus the Nazarene, the crucified; he is risen, he is not here. See the place where they put it! But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going before you to Galilee. There you will see him as he told you! « (Mark 16,5:6-XNUMX)
After the big and the small disappointment he gives us back. The disappointments have removed all obstacles. Now at last he has full access to all spaces in our hearts. Now he can begin the final preparation for our apostolic ministry.
He says to the women: »Do not be afraid!« (Matthew 28,10:20,27) and takes away our last fear. He says to Thomas: »Reach out your hand and put it in my side!« (John 24,36:XNUMX) and takes away our last doubt. He says to the disciples: »Peace be with you!« (Luke XNUMX:XNUMX) and gives us complete inner peace.
And then he sends us out again:
He says to Mary: “Go to my brothers” (John 20,17:21,15), to Peter: “Do you love me? … Feed my lambs” (24,49:16,15). Aha! Now selfless love is the motive. "Stay in the city of Jerusalem until you are endued with power from on high" (Luke 28,19:28,20). So don't just go for it anymore, but in gradually expanding circles, just as the spirit guides and gives strength. “Go into all the world” (Mark XNUMX:XNUMX), “Make disciples of all nations” (Matthew XNUMX:XNUMX), “I am with you always” (XNUMX:XNUMX). Now HE is there.
God takes to give
God took everything from us just to give it back to us cleansed and sanctified. We no longer cling anxiously, but trustingly enjoy His blessings in His hand.
God took my passion, music, away from me. It was a sacrifice. I like making music, but my music was permeated with sensual rhythms and the wrong spirit. But it was only a few months before he gradually gave me the music back, purified and sanctified, as a selfless instrument of his glory. I enjoy it more now than I used to.
God took away my passion for learning foreign languages. This sacrifice was harder. But it was necessary because this passion was like an addiction that I used for my satisfaction and that had no practical value in my job or family. Only years later did God ask me to dig out the old language books again because he wanted to use this gift for his purposes. Now the addiction is gone and I can look forward to a selfless use of these languages to his honor.
God took away my passion for making new friends. This sacrifice was the hardest. Because this passion kept ousting God from the throne of my heart. It was only after a few years of relative seclusion that God turned the tide. Now he shows me where I can win people's hearts for HIM. With his help, I can now selflessly use this ability for him without becoming a selfish friend.
And so I could go on with examples where the Lord takes everything only to give more abundantly afterwards. And surely he will do this again and again until he has finished his work on me.
My life is marked by the thick red line that God has regularly drawn through my plans in order to finally put HIS plans in their place. They were always far, far more brilliant and I was always so glad I failed. Otherwise it would only have been worse.
trust!
Therefore I can say from experience and full of conviction: Entrust yourself completely to our Father! Nobody in the universe loves you like he does. He will guide you better than you can guide yourself, because he knows you better than you know yourself. but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will gird you and lead you where you do not want to go.« (John 21,18:XNUMX) Do we have this trust? … that we voluntarily stretch out our hands and say: »Yes, my Lord Jesus. Lead me! Does not matter where. I follow you!"?
Then God will shower upon us blessings "even now in this age...under persecutions, and in the ages to come [he bestowth upon us] everlasting [full] life" (Mark 10,30:XNUMX).
First appeared in Foundation, Magazine for a Liberated Life, 7-2006, pages 10-11.
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