In the sincere attempt to help or find help, many a person has fallen on the wrong track. By Colin Standish († 2018)

[Note d. Editor: This article aims to raise our awareness so that we can become better pastors. The fact that the focus here is on dangers should of course not obscure how extremely important and beneficial interpersonal pastoral care is when it is characterized by respect for the integrity of those seeking help. We need more counselors to meet the discouraged like Jesus did.]

Over the last 20 years, counseling and life coaching has grown into a gigantic multi-million dollar industry. More and more men and women are taking on the role of life coach, therapist or pastor for countless people who suffer from a wide variety of mental and other problems.

The Christian church was quick to respond when it noticed that more and more people were seeking advice from psychologists and psychiatrists and were turning away from clergy, who in the past had traditionally played the role of pastor. Soon, many pastors sought further training in life coaching. They had a natural desire to develop effective pastoral care techniques.

Life coaching is not a new art. In both the Old and New Testaments there are many incidents in which one person gave advice to another. During Jesus' years of ministry, men like Nicodemus and the Rich Young Man sought him out for advice on their own personal lives. Undoubtedly, it is good for men and women to counsel one another in order to strengthen one another and guide one another to the path of righteousness. However, pastoral care can also be dangerous, especially when pastors make this type of ministry the focus of their work. It is therefore helpful to know some of the dangers associated with this work.

Attention: danger of binding!

The most important task of every pastor called by God is to lead those seeking advice into complete dependence on God - and not on people. »Every member of the community should recognize that God is the only one from whom they should seek clarity about their own tasks. It's good that siblings consult with each other. However, as soon as a person wants to tell you exactly what you should do, answer him that you want to be guided by the LORD." (Testimonials 9, 280; see. testimonials 9, 263)

Ellen White points out the danger of dependence on people. "People run the risk of accepting human advice and thereby disregarding God's advice." (Testimonials 8, 146; see. testimonials 8, 150) This is the first danger in pastoral care. Therefore, the pastor would do well to ensure that he does not inadvertently lead the person seeking advice to rely on him instead of on God. For even the most godly counselor can never take God's place. There has never been a greater tendency than today to look at people instead of at God. In many cases, such dependency can lead to the weakening of the counselee's spiritual and emotional stability. Many people have been so dependent on the advice of the pastor that when the pastor left they felt a loss, an emptiness and fear that only arose from an unhealthy dependence on a particular person.

However, the pastor can avoid this danger if he continually reminds those seeking advice that he himself cannot solve the problems raised, but that he would like to lead them to the true pastor and his written word. The highest goal of the pastor should therefore be to turn the gaze of those seeking advice away from people and towards God. Even the slightest sign that someone is becoming dependent on the pastor can be addressed quickly and lovingly, so that the person seeking advice clearly recognizes God as their safe strength and refuge.

Beware of pride!

The second danger that threatens the pastor is his own egoism. As more and more people come to you for advice and guidance in their lives, you can start to take yourself too seriously. This represents a serious threat to the spiritual salvation of the pastor. Such egotism, which arises from an unconverted self, naturally endangers one's own spiritual development. Assuming a role that God has not assigned you can have disastrous consequences. »God is greatly dishonored when men put themselves in his place. He alone can give infallible advice." (Testimonies to Ministers, 326)

Selfishness can also contribute to the formation of a bond between the person seeking advice and the pastor. The more he praises his help, the greater the risk that he will feel flattered - with bad consequences.

[Jesus gave us an example of what selfless pastoral care looks like and that heartfelt service to one's fellow human beings does not have to make one arrogant in any way.]

Distraction from the mission

Another dilemma that the preacher in particular faces: the more time he spends on this work, the less time he has for active missionary work. Above all, preachers are given Jesus' direct command: "Go into all the world... and preach the Gospel!"

[…] It is important to return to the core of the Great Commission. However, many preachers become so absorbed in administrative tasks and pastoral counseling that they are able to devote less and less time to the direct proclamation of the gospel and the pursuit of new horizons of truth.

It is important that everyone called to the ministry understands their mission, which is to tell men and women about Jesus and his imminent return. Too often, all of the preacher's time is taken up by pastoral care. This makes it impossible for him to carry out the task to which he was ordained in the first place.

Unfortunately, quite a few preachers have come to the conclusion that pastoral care is their primary responsibility. That's why some have even given up their preaching profession to work full-time as life coaches.

The point here is not to judge, because there can also be valid reasons for such a change. But it is extremely important for the pastor to examine his or her own motives that lead or have led to such a change.

[If every believer serves his fellow human beings on an equal level as a pastoral “priest,” pastors can concentrate more on proclaiming the Word. Then pastoral care can remain non-violent and respectful in every respect.]

Attention, risk of infection!

The fourth danger for the pastor has to do with the needs of one's own soul. Perhaps we sometimes overlook the fact that not only the person seeking advice but also the pastor is susceptible to mental influences. With many pastoral care methods used today, the counselor deals intensively with the vividly described ones Details the immorality of the person seeking advice and his sinful and dissolute life. But it is detrimental to the spiritual growth of the pastor to hear such information day after day that has a spiritually corrosive effect. One's own eternal destiny may come into jeopardy as a result of focusing on such things. How easy it is to become the confessor of many people. But God never placed this responsibility on a pastor. Let us therefore avoid dwelling on sinful details! Rather, let us point those seeking advice to the true source of forgiveness!

[It takes a lot of sensitivity to be a good listener on the one hand and, on the other hand, out of respect for the privacy of the person seeking help, to encourage them to unload details of their sins on our Heavenly Father. Only the Holy Spirit can help us to react individually correctly.]

Return to the clear word

The strong desire for human life advice among God's people is symptomatic of the poverty of faith in our time. Men and women who are burdened by the demands of life lack Jesus' peace, which alone can bring contentment. They look to people for help and guidance for their lives. The Bible contains the best remedy for discouragement, despair and a lack of trust. Unfortunately, this remedy plays an increasingly smaller role in the lives of many Christians. “So faith comes by hearing, and preaching by the word of Christ.” (Romans 10,17:XNUMX)

Preachers are invited to give their greatest effort by leading congregations in continuous study of God's Word. Only in this way can the foundation for Christian life and development be laid. If there is anything we need, it is trust in God. It is the best remedy for spiritual decline, disillusionment and a lifestyle of independence from Jesus.

[...]

The real answer

The real answer to social, emotional and spiritual problems is found neither in the person themselves nor in a fellow human being but in Jesus. Very often life coaches try to find the answers within the person themselves. Many use a modified form of Carl Rogers' talk therapy. In this form of therapy, the therapist becomes a kind of echo wall to help the distressed person find a solution to the problem that brought them to the therapist. This approach comes from pagan Greek philosophy because it is based on the assumption that there is truth in the mind of each individual and that people can find their own answers to their needs.

Others use the more dynamic program of behavior modification. However, this depends heavily on the values ​​of the pastor. The pastor takes it upon himself to define what behavior is desirable. He is therefore in danger of putting himself in God's place to the person seeking advice and leading him away from the true source of help that he so desperately needs.

The role of the preacher as pastor needs to be urgently reassessed; its effectiveness and its limits, so that God's work does not deviate from its true and fundamental purpose - namely the completion of the Great Commission, the proclamation of the Word to the world, and the message that Jesus is soon returning.

[If we are aware of the dangers mentioned, counseling can be one of the most powerful tools to free people from their chains so that they can enjoy life to the full, not only in this dark world but also in eternity.]