In the late 70's, without knowing his voice, God called me from Switzerland to the United States, where I traveled, worked and - met the Seventh-day Adventists for about two years. It was the love and acceptance of these people that convinced me that God exists and is courting me.

My heart longed for acceptance and love. My travels took me through many states, many acquaintances, good and bad. Although I am almost certain that I met an angel at that time. After a long journey on the Greyhound bus, I arrived dead tired at a bus station. There was a rest so that all passengers could go eat something. When I went to pay for my meal, the waitress said, "No, no, your meal was already paid for by that gentleman over there." But there was no one over there!

I earned my money with farm work, milking cows, etc. When I returned to a Swiss farmer's family living in Wisconsin for the second time after a long journey, they had gotten to know and love the Seventh-day Adventists. I was allowed to have Bible studies with them and – what was most impressive for me: I was accepted by the church members the way I was! Nobody criticized me, spoke disparagingly about me - on the contrary, I was invited and allowed to take part in concerts. And then, as winter approached, some siblings suddenly stopped by the farmer's family with a sack of winter clothes! To me!!! I felt so safe and accepted. The love of God came alive for me.

My first steps in the Advent faith

Before I had to travel back to Europe, I was baptized in Wisconsin. Not everything was clear to me, I didn't understand a lot. But the most important thing I had learned from the example of these Adventists was that my Savior lives and loves me.

So I came back to Switzerland with my newfound faith, which was still in its infancy. My family was shocked that I had left the Catholic Church and treated me with resentment. They could not understand that I had left the tried and true, familiar path. They feared that their daughter had fallen victim to a cult.

marriage and dreams

Then I met a nice man at work. After much prayer and his conversion, we got married in the mid 80's. Two lovely girls were born. My husband enthusiastically supported my health and evangelism work and also the idea of ​​home school, and helped or led where he could.

We dreamed of moving to the country so our children could grow up close to nature and free from too much worldly influence. God's call, "and you shall speak of it as you sit in your house or as you walk in the way, as you lie down and as you rise," struck me to the core (Deuteronomy 5:6,7). Likewise Ellen White's call for families with children to move to the country wherever possible. It was my constant prayer that the Lord would make this possible for our family and keep us.

We often looked at properties together in other countries, including some in France. I remember very well how we put such an offer aside and thought, well let's see. The following day - it was a Friday - a voice suddenly spoke to me: »You have to call them!« I was really scared! "Lord, is that You?" I asked, resolving to carry out the command immediately. I had never heard God's voice so clearly. But as it is on the preparation day before the Sabbath - everything went haywire and I forgot the assignment. For the second time the voice called me to call there. And again I forgot. But when the voice came a third time, I picked up the phone and answered.

Buying a house in France

After a month I had bought the house with the help of my father. For the time being, however, we stayed in Switzerland because my husband could not find work here. However, we spent all our holidays and many weekends in France. Around 2000 we allowed a couple of friends (he had health problems) to live there for free. You should simply keep the house and garden in order and give us half of the fruit. Later, the idea came up that we could build something together.

I was now teaching my children English and German – French was another subject anyway. But should we dare to leave Switzerland? For some time now, I have sensed that a change was taking place in my husband—a change that frightened me. I often pleaded with God to intervene. After my husband left his job and started his own company, he now wished to move to France with promises that things would get better. He wanted to work in Switzerland three days a week and be with us the rest of the time. After much prayer we agreed, hoped for improvement and were happy. 10 days before the move, our older daughter was bitten on the lip by a dog. Was the enemy at work there?

In July 1999 we moved bag and baggage to France in a mobile home, which we miraculously bought at a ridiculous price and had it transported to our piece of land in France. Our girls were 9 and 11 years old at the time. They helped with a lot of enthusiasm and were happy to be living on their own land. Another miracle happened after just three months: an old farmhouse with 2,5 hectares of land just 5 minutes from the other house became available for sale. Everything will be fine now! Now my husband will be happy with me! So went my thoughts and prayers. With the children we managed everything ourselves so that there was as little work as possible for my husband when he came home.

The dream breaks

We had hoped so much for our family, but things turned out very differently. In the end, my children and I moved into the old farmhouse alone – without hot water, without a toilet. It was a cold November night, it was 5°C in the house, but it was even colder in our hearts. My husband only recently revealed that he had had a girlfriend in Switzerland for a long time. Many tears flowed, not only that night. Many cries for help to God: »Lord, save our papa.« – »Lord, save my husband, open his heart to eternal salvation. Save our family!« – But also many cries of distress: »Lord, why? Am I so ugly, did I do everything wrong? I was only trying to do your will!”

Although my husband admitted at the time of the separation that it was not my fault, such questions rushed through my nature for years. My heart broke when I saw my children cry. I pleaded with the Lord that this test should not defeat us, but that we should come out victorious from this test, even if health problems, money problems and much more would discourage us. I begged that we would be purified.

In the fiery furnace

“In the end, those who have gone through terrible problems and terrible times of crisis in their faith life will be victorious. But they must not throw away their confidence (Hebrews 10,35:XNUMX). For this is part of their formation in the school of Jesus and essential to remove all dross.« (Messages to Young People, 63) Another text spoke to me: »The highest award that we can receive is to take up and carry the cross of Jesus.« Did I really want to be so distinguished – I certainly didn't feel worthy of it.

Our marriage had not endured the endurance test. All attempts to save her failed. The divorce process was a long road that dragged on for almost nine years. I was afraid of losing the children, of not being able to homeschool them anymore. But the LORD was gracious to us. The court rulings were in our favour. The children were able to spend their entire school days on our farm and successfully passed their university entrance qualification (Abitur) through a Christian correspondence school in English.

Of course, the children were traumatized by the separation, and I also wanted to spare them a change of residence and the transfer to a public school. Both would have been necessary if I had had to go back to full-time work. So we lived off the alimony, and there were months when we barely had enough to live on. But again and again, thanks be to the LORD, we had loyal friends who arranged translation work for us and helped us in the garden and with the building.

everyday life in the country

A large garden, which my children planted with me with great enthusiasm, partly provided us with vegetables. Our hens, which the fox paid a visit from time to time, not only provided eggs but, like the garden, many valuable lessons. Chicks were hatched and raised. The dogs had to be cared for and fed. Our little donkey, which we unfortunately had to give away again because we lived in Switzerland for a while due to the divorce, was also a lot of fun. Yes, there was always a lot to do, too much.

Together we concreted the garden walls, built guinea pig enclosures and laid tiles. We soon held cooking courses together in the community, but also in Switzerland. We often sang for over two hours in the car when we visited my parents in Switzerland. With God's grace and help, I tried to make the youth of the two children as happy, active and beautiful as possible, despite the difficult times. We often drove to camp meetings and slept in the car. That was our vacation.

When things got so tight financially that we hardly knew what to do, I cried out to God again in earnest for help. For years I had been looking for work and could only find odd jobs. But then God intervened. My father paid a sum of money to all his children – I have 4 siblings. Unfortunately he died soon after. I got to hold his hand as he lay dying. God answered my prayer that he would be able to fall asleep without pain. Surprisingly, my relationship with my family has changed since then, for which we are very grateful.

And today?

My eldest daughter has now completed two training courses and is married. Did I do my job as a mother properly? It was not easy for me to release my daughter into her own future. She knows I will always be there for her.

My younger daughter has now completed three distance learning courses. We work together on the farm, which has been partially renovated and rebuilt over many years.

Our favorites are, of course, our two horses, who "mow" our meadows, deliver manure for the garden and occasionally carry us through woods and meadows. My horse is now trained to lead manure into the garden himself. For this we built a stone sledge (two logs with cross boards, the logs rounded at the front and back). Our two guard dogs are very important.

Our 16 year old beloved cat is slowly retiring and often curls up on our bed. A black cat recently came to us and has now found a home with us. She was completely emaciated and had to be examined and treated by the vet first. Now she is doing quite well - she mostly sits in the straw with the horses.

Two pygmy goats with 12 chickens complete the menagerie, apart from a colony of bees that have settled themselves in a gap in our house wall - and a family of foxes with 5 cubs that are hiding with us - and which we would actually rather be rid of!

Some nights we have to look for our cat outside so the fox doesn't eat it. When there is a storm, our horses are scared, so we have to go and calm them down. Our greenhouse, for which we are very grateful, will then also have to be locked. Unfortunately, the weeds grow faster than the vegetables here too, so that we are in a fight every day!

But we still had a great tomato harvest last year, as well as chard, broccoli, lettuce, cauliflower, melons and much more. The LORD has really sent his blessing. The outdoor garden beds were so hard that we first had to dig them out with pickaxes because the excavator had driven over them. But even then the harvest was quite good. After all, we were able to sterilize over 700 jars, most of them from our garden, a smaller part of fruit bought.

We are now trying to convert as much as possible to a kind of permaculture, which is very difficult with the constant rain. Our small lawnmower tractor can't do the job anymore, so we are praying for a slightly larger tractor to help us with all the work.

Our service for holidaymakers in the Vosges

In order to earn our living, we now rent out the mobile home (now converted into a chalet) to holiday guests who can order vegan or vegetarian daily menus, snacks or party service from us. Anyone who is interested can here is our offer watch closer.

We are still looking for an affordable food truck for the market. We would like to help people who want to change their diet and lifestyle. A plan for a three-day stay with nutritional advice, cooking classes, use of simple natural remedies, herbalism, etc. is in preparation. A separate cookbook for this purpose is also in the making. We are both nutritionists - I myself am training to become a naturopath.

hopes and consolation

It's all under construction, and sometimes the work, planning and execution wants to overwhelm us. Then the worries come: will it work? Can we make it financially? And we throw them again at the ONE who has never failed us. Past events have also left their mark in terms of strength. But we can draw new strength every day from Him who gives strength to those who wait for Him (Isaiah 40,31:XNUMX).

Yes, God is faithful. Through all these trials, he has never failed us. The ONE who promised that he would never leave us kept his word - and he will continue to do so. In all trials I know: when I am weak, he is strong for me; if I can't go any further, he carries me through! With God I can't give up - only move forward! Finally, I would like to share the text that has carried me through many desperate moments and still does:

“Everything that puzzles us about God's providence will be made clear to us in the world to come. What was difficult to understand will then find its explanation. The mysteries of grace will unfold before our eyes. Where our limited mind saw only chaos and broken promises, we will see perfect and most beautiful harmony. We will know that infinite love has decreed the experiences that have been the hardest for us. Then, when we recognize the kind care of the One who causes all things to work for our good, we shall burst into indescribable rejoicing with indescribable joy and glory.« (Testimonials 9, 286)
Poetry is one way of expressing my feelings:

Oh, struggle and toil every hour,
yes, it's progressing without pause.
But often a wound remains
from running on this earth orbit.

So I walk on and look up
to you, my only refuge.
never leave me in my run
forgive and never stay away!

I finally understood:
Salvation is by grace alone!
Where rebellion and I once stood
is love service and divine being.

Lord hold me tight, don't leave me.
you are my only happiness
You are the only confidence!
Come Lord, come back soon!