Too often in education we try to find the right balance between generosity and strictness, i.e. the right methodology. But completely different questions are crucial. By Ellen White

Few fathers are suitable for the responsibility of raising children, as they themselves still need a strict upbringing to learn self-control, forbearance and empathy. Only when they themselves possess these qualities are they able to raise their children properly.

How can fathers' moral sensitivity be awakened so that they recognize and take seriously their task towards their offspring? This issue is very important and interesting because future national prosperity depends on it. With deep seriousness we would like to remind fathers and mothers alike of the great responsibility they have taken on by bringing children into the world. This is a responsibility from which only death can release them. In the first years of the children's lives, the main burden and care for the children lies with the mother, but even then the father should support her with advice and support, encourage her to rely on his great affection and help her as much as possible.

Where are my priorities?

What should be most important to the father is the task he has towards his children. He should not push them aside to achieve wealth or gain a higher position in the eyes of the world. In fact, the possession of wealth and honor often creates a separation between the husband and his family, and this particularly inhibits his influence over them. If the father's goal is for his children to develop harmonious characters, bring honor to him and bring blessing to the world, then he must accomplish extraordinary things. God holds him responsible for it. At the final judgment, God will ask him: Where are the children that I have entrusted to you? Have you raised them up for me to praise me? Does her life glitter in the world like a beautiful tiara? Will they enter eternity to honor me forever?

What character types do my children have? – Explaining with patience and wisdom is better than punishing

Some children have strong moral abilities. They have enough willpower to control their minds and actions. With other children, however, the physical passions are almost impossible to tame. To accommodate these contrasting temperaments that often occur in the same family, fathers, like mothers, need patience and wisdom from the Divine Helper. You won't achieve as much if you punish children for their transgressions. Much more can be achieved by explaining to them the folly and heinousness of their sin, understanding their hidden tendencies, and doing everything possible to guide them in the right direction.

The hours that many fathers spend smoking [e.g. Ä.] should be better used to study God's parenting style and learn more lessons from the divine methods. Jesus' teachings open up new ways for the Father to reach the human heart and teach him important lessons about truth and justice. Jesus used familiar things from nature to illustrate and impress his mission. He drew practical lessons from everyday life, people's jobs and their daily interactions with one another.

Time for conversation and in nature

If the father often gathers his children around him, he can direct their thoughts into moral and religious paths in which light shines. He should study their different inclinations, susceptibilities and susceptibilities and try to reach them in the simplest ways. Some are best approached through reverence and fear of God; others are more easily reached by showing them the wonders and mysteries of nature, with all its wonderful harmony and beauty, which speaks to their hearts of the Creator of heaven and earth and of all the wonderful things He has created.

Time to make music and listen to music

Many children blessed with the gift of music or love of music receive impressions that last a lifetime when that receptivity is judiciously used to instruct them in the faith. It can be explained to them that they are like a discord in the divine harmony of creation, like an out-of-tune instrument that sounds disharmonious when they are not one with God, and that they cause even more pain to God than harsh, disharmonious tones do to their own fine musical one hearing.

Know how to use images and illustrations

Some children are best reached through sacred images depicting scenes from Jesus' life and ministry. In this way, the truth can be impressed upon their minds in vivid colors so that they will never be erased again. The Roman Catholic Church is well aware of this and appeals to people's senses through the appeal of sculptures and paintings. Although we do not sympathize with the worship of images condemned by God's law, we believe that it is right to take advantage of children's almost universal love of images and thereby establish valuable moral values ​​in their minds. The beautiful images depicting the Bible's great moral principles bind the gospel to their hearts. Our Savior also illustrated His holy teachings through the images in God's created works.

Awakening insight is better than forcing it - it's better to avoid obstacles

It will not be possible to establish an iron rule that forces every family member to go to the same school. It is better to educate gently and appeal to the conscience of adolescents when special lessons need to be conveyed. It has proven to be a good idea to respond to your individual preferences and character traits. A uniform upbringing in the family is important, but at the same time the different needs of the family members should be taken into account. As parents, find out how you can avoid making your children argumentative, inciting anger, or igniting rebellion in them. Instead, it stimulates their interest and stimulates them to strive for the highest intelligence and perfection of character. This can be done in a spirit of Christian warmth and patience. Parents know their children's weaknesses and can firmly but kindly curb their tendencies toward sin.

Vigilance in an atmosphere of trust

Parents, especially the father, should be careful that the children do not perceive him as a detective who examines, monitors and criticizes all their actions, ready at any time to intervene and punish them for any offense. The father's behavior should show the children at every opportunity that the reason for correction is a heart full of love for the children. Once you have reached this point, you have gained a lot. The father should have a sensitivity to the human desires and weaknesses of his children, his compassion for the sinner and his grief for the erring one should be greater than the grief that the children can feel for their own misdeeds. When he brings his child back to the right path, he will feel it, and even the most stubborn heart will soften.

Become a sin-bearer like Jesus

The father, as priest and as the one who holds the family together, should, as far as possible, take the place of Jesus towards it. Despite his own innocence, he suffers for sinners! May he endure the pain and price of his children's transgressions! And he suffers more than she does while he punishes her!

»… the children copy everything you do.«

But how can a father teach his children to overcome bad tendencies when they see that he cannot control himself? He loses almost all of his influence over them when he becomes angry or unjust, or when there is anything about him that indicates that he is the slave of an evil habit. Children observe closely and draw clear conclusions. A regulation must be accompanied by exemplary behavior in order for it to be effective. How is the father supposed to be able to maintain his moral dignity before the watchful eyes of his children when he consumes harmful stimulants or falls into some other degrading habit? If he claims special status when it comes to the use of tobacco, his sons may also feel free to claim the same right. It may well be that they not only use tobacco like their father, but also slip into alcohol addiction because they believe that drinking wine and beer is no worse than smoking tobacco. So the son sets his foot on the path of the drunkard because his father's example led him to do so.

How do I protect my children from self-indulgence?

The dangers of youth are many. In our affluent society there are countless temptations to satisfy desire. In our cities, young men face this temptation every day. They fall under the deceptive appearance of temptation and satisfy their desire without even giving a thought to the fact that it could harm their health. Young people often succumb to the belief that joy lies in unrestricted freedom, in the enjoyment of forbidden pleasures and in selfish masturbation. They then acquire this joy at the expense of their physical, mental and moral health and in the end all that remains is bitterness.

How important it is that the father pays attention to the habits of his sons and their comrades. First of all, the father himself should ensure that he is not a slave to a corrupt lust that diminishes his influence over his sons. He should forbid his lips from giving in to harmful stimulants.

People can do much more for God and their fellow human beings when they are in good health than when they are suffering from illness and pain. Tobacco and alcohol consumption as well as poor eating habits cause illness and suffering that make us incapable of being a blessing to the world. Nature being trampled upon does not always make itself known with cautious warnings, but sometimes with intense pain and extreme weakness. Our physical health suffers every time we give in to unnatural cravings; our brains lose the clarity they need to act and differentiate.

Be a magnet!

Above all, the father needs a clear, active mind, quick perception, calm judgment, physical strength for his strenuous tasks, and especially God's help in properly coordinating his actions. He should therefore live in absolute moderation, walking in the fear of God and obeying his law, having an eye for the little loveliness and kindnesses of life, supporting and strengthening his wife, being a perfect example for his sons and a counselor and authority figure for his daughters. Further, it is essential that he should stand in the moral dignity of a man free from the slavery of evil habits and passions. Only in this way can he fulfill the sacred responsibility of educating his children for the higher life.

Aus: Signs of the Times, 20. December 1877