"The greatest thing one can learn is to love and be loved." - Nat King Cole

In 2009 I received an invitation to Kazakhstan. I was to give a series of lectures there to encourage and enable the Christians there to connect with the local Muslims. Church leaders there realized that if everyone continued to do business as usual, the widening chasm between their faith communities would be unbridgeable.

At the time, I was leading a non-profit initiative called Enoch's Passion, which invited people of all religions into a closer relationship with God. The powerful picture we had of God through our personal history, our immersion in a Muslim culture in Cambodia, and finally my university degree in Islamic Studies led to my being invited frequently to different places around the world to serve as a spiritual bridge builder try to bring groups into fruitful contact with each other.

Both then and now we live in a world where people are drifting further and further apart. It has been a long time since humankind was stripped of its dignity as God's beloved children. Instead we have crafted many grotesque shells, a patchwork of labels with which to deny or hide our shame. So instead of recognizing ourselves as God's creatures and seeing in each human being the person God had in mind when he created them, unique in history and yet similar throughout, we judge and categorize one another based on a multitude of differences their life journey together. Often entire groups use God to defend their beliefs, so that they are better known for their opposition than for their positive aims.

My main concern is to invite people to see what they have in common and then to grow together in their service to God. I encourage them to discover the unique beauty in others and to be a blessing to those around them. Faith in God - I am convinced - should bring out the best in us, not the worst! What is the use of an individual's faith if it does not bless those around him?

Almaty, city of mountains and cultures

When I arrived in Almaty, I took in the sight of the landscape, which was so different from the United States. I marveled at this city with the mountains in the background. The architecture surprised me because it brought together the different cultures all in one place: Russian, Oriental, Modern and Far Eastern; plus the many historic sites that chronicle the past. The week was fresh and invigorating like a spring breeze.

In one of my first talks, I gave an insight into some facets of my devastating and painful story. As I retold aspects of our slow and torturous journey through grief, I could see the unmistakable scars in the eyes of some listeners. Pain is a universal language.

The essence of our tragic experience

I shared how our friends had been a real blessing to us. I explained how our old and distorted ideas changed as we allowed God's love to set us free. I quoted Jeremiah 31,3:29,11 and XNUMX:XNUMX: »The Lord appeared to me from afar: I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you to myself out of pure grace... For I know what thoughts I have concerning you, declares the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

I then pointed to God's undeniable intervention in our lives and His handwriting on the births of Elijah and Hannah. After I had described that this God of love is also the God who has a plan, the turning point came. In the years following the accident, not only had God loved and guided us, but he had given us four more children when we had only had two before! I pointed out the next striking fact: This God of love is also the God who has the power to make all things good: "Now we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to purpose.” (Romans 8,28:XNUMX)

As I looked down the rows, I realized that those three simple verses against the background of my testimony inspired a whole new way of thinking. Of course, that doesn't condone every pain and suffering in the world. Sometimes people make the decision to fight against what would be best for them and because of that great suffering comes upon them. If we clearly violate the laws of nature and life, God will not normally protect us from the consequences. But even after this "rebellion" against ourselves, God can still turn things around for the better through his plan and his power if we respond to his love! I can't explain it, but I've seen it in my own life. You can rely on God!

A new lifestyle

The high level of attention I now felt in the audience made me think aloud about the possibility of what our lives would be like if we actually believed in these three principles and lived our lives according to God's will instead of making war against Him.

1. Life without fear of death

First, we would no longer be afraid for our lives. We could rest knowing that we are loved and cared for, come what may. We would realize that everything that happens in our lives is allowed by God because His plan is to bless and transform us. One thing I learned is that God's plan for us is not just for our short life on earth, but for what we were created for, which is eternity. When we realize that, everything changes. We can see every circumstance and challenge in our lives as opportunities that God has allowed or even created to ultimately bring us blessings.

2. Be braver in life

The second obvious consequence of our belief would be that we move forward in life with more courage. We would no longer be inhibited by the fear that other people might think badly of us. For we would already know that we are loved and accepted. We would also no longer be driven desperately from one situation to the next, trying to take care of ourselves, always afraid of failure. For we would have understood that we are already taken care of, that abundance has already been promised to us. We would fill whatever space we would find ourselves in in life as best we could because we trusted God to guide us and want to bless us through that space.

3. Free to love authentically

Something else would happen through our faith: we would be free to love people authentically. We would no longer worry and wear masks to give the impression that we needed to act a certain way or to validate our worth in front of others. Our identity would be anchored in being God's children, not in our acting on the world stage!

What an idea! To be so completely known and loved by God! Free to love the world around us. What a glorious lifestyle!

I remember how that part of the service came to an end. Some were crying, others were visibly moved, others had taken extensive notes. I could see her mind set on this new way of thinking and living. The power of that moment was a great blessing. I gave my other lectures as agreed and my week there passed.

Listening to my neighbor's pain and anger

However, just before I was about to leave on the final evening, something happened that gave me another important insight. I understood even more deeply what it meant to be loved like that. My translator came to me with a woman. I was sitting at the back of the room at another meeting.

The translator said her friend had been at the service and was very upset about it! She didn't think I was telling the truth. So my translator asked me if I would be willing to talk to her about it.

Of course, I gladly agreed, curious as to what had upset her so much about my presentation. This is how a triangular conversation began, in which the translator had to translate back and forth between two languages. In a few moments it became clear that we needed more time together and a quieter place. We excused ourselves and left the common room to go to another room.

The woman was so upset because she had lost her husband two years ago. She was caught in deep pain and felt abandoned by her husband. Because now she had to raise her four children alone. When he died, she was immediately seized with fear of the unknown and her future, the overwhelming responsibility of caring for her children, and the incessant questions as to why God had allowed her husband to die. It had just been too much for her. To this day, she couldn't accept it.

She didn't even believe her husband was dead! Almost every day she saw him somewhere in the crowd, in a taxi, on the bus, somewhere in the distance. She spotted him out of the corner of her eye and hoped he would finally come home. Although her friends kept assuring her that he wasn't coming home, that he was dead, she literally closed her eyes to the truth.

Every night her children went to bed crying and asking for their mother. But she was unable to give them what they needed. After two years, many people would lead normal lives again, but she was still caught in the cycle of depression and denial. Her children needed her, but she barely managed to function at all.

I listened to her story with a broken heart. Although I had not lost my wife and was unfamiliar with the added nuances of grieving for a spouse, I knew the pain of death. We shed tears as she shared her story and I asked questions to understand her better. The only available box of Kleenex wipes was not enough for our cheeks.

I marveled at the love with which my translator looked after her friend. Her mind must have been working overtime trying to connect the two people in front of her. She sympathetically absorbed her friend's feelings and heartbreaking story, only to render her words as accurately as possible in another language.

She didn't even have to translate a few words because my heart already understood them. Empathy works without words. We listened to her for over an hour and felt her pain and anger towards God.

I understood her. I don't need to defend God. First, it's big enough that it can defend itself. Second, there are things I don't understand, and I have many questions of my own for God. I assured her that my testimony did not mean that I had no more questions for him. However, as my own story progressed, my perspective had changed. I understood that God is bigger than I can comprehend. I don't understand him, but I'm able to marvel again at what I'm experiencing. I can't tell him how to behave, but I can trust him to be good. I don't have all the answers, but I can trust him to be a faithful guide and companion.

The simple and painful act of listening to her anger and feeling her raw nerves was exhausting. Each of us was completely exhausted when the first hour ended and the second began.

The armory of the suffering

In the many years since the accident, I have found that grieving people say horrible things. When someone is injured, their lips become the tools they use to hurl their ready-to-use arsenal at anyone within range. This woman was no exception. As her deep seated feelings erupted like a volcano, the machine gun of her tongue turned against God, the church, people, even life itself. All I could do was hold her hand and cry and emotionally my best to dodge as many projectiles as possible that flew right around my head. It was very difficult. I know I'm not God's shield; but in me I have a tendency to defend him and to have an answer for everything.

After being able to articulate her pain and trauma, she eventually became quiet and silent. Because I had shown her respect by listening to her without defending myself or reprimanding her, she expressed relief. Exhausted, she was now ready to listen a little herself.

I shared with her experiences my wife and I had gone through that coincided with her deep pain. I shared how my wife found incredible comfort in Psalm 56,8:XNUMX, where God says he will count our tears and gather them into a jar. As these words were translated, I saw relief in her eyes, as if she felt an invitation to fall into the patient arms of God, because he understands her pain and will not forget it.

We spent two hours together, working through her questions. We didn't always find answers. Sometimes just listening is all we can do. Fellowship among sufferers is like an unspoken bond.

In our time together, she left her anger and pain behind and opened her eyes to God's inviting love. Her facial expression changed. I could feel the key of acceptance turning in her heart's door to free her from the prison of grief she had been sitting in for so long. I knew this dark place.

A final rearing up of the enemy

Then something happened. I can't explain it, but I can describe it. A black cloud seemed to pass between us. Like a guard pushing the prisoner back into the dungeon, there was clearly something else in the room at that moment. Her face contorted and she went back into her contained, angry attitude and began attacking God again.

Join the ranks of the warriors of God

In a split second, righteous anger welled up deep within me at what was black about the room. I spoke with authority in the name of God and in the name of truth. This woman was about to be set free. Much like a little boy trying to control the overwhelming pressure of a fire hose, I couldn't control the words that came out of my mouth. Bible verses poured out of me in rapid succession, bombarding the intruder. The translator's voice imitated mine in speed and urgency as we went to war for our sister. Whatever was trying to darken their world, we fought it off in the name of God.

It didn't take very long. In a few moments the unreal event was over. Peace was written on my face. My mind was completely under control again. The three of us just sat there and said nothing to each other in amazement. Another prisoner had become free!

Hours later, as I flew across the ocean, I reflected on the experience. Stunned, I recapitulated the individual steps of that evening. My thoughts turned to prayer.

God! How beautiful could everything be if we really trusted your love? What peaks of compassion could we reach if we no longer feared for our future and knew it was in your hands? With what courageous authority could we face the darkness and lies that enslave our brethren, if only we understood that you can make all things right? What would change if we lived our lives knowing who we are and who we belong to? True authority depends entirely on how we view ourselves. How would we live out our heritage as children of God if all our longings were focused solely on the goal of love and truth rolling over the world like a tsunami of grace and goodness?

My prayers turned into a dream.

And what a dream!

continuation               Part 1 of the series             In English

From: Bryan C. Gallant, Undeniable, An Epic Journey Through Pain, 2015, pages 156-164

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